My Family

My Family

04 October 2008

Potty Training Help Requested

I am tired of potty training. It seems we are getting nowhere. We have been potty training Amanda for almost a year now. We have mostly been pretty laid back about it, but I am tired of spending a fortune on diapers and, as Amanda's teacher and the director of the preschool reminded me, she can't move up with the 3 yr olds until she is potty trained. Moving up to the next class will also save additional money. She loves sitting on the potty and will ask to "potty train." Somewhere in the process I think we have lost the training part of it. It is more like alone time with mommy when she gets to sit on the potty while I talk, sing, read books... I think she knows when she needs to go and I think she does ask to go to the potty at that point, but I don't think she knows how to relax and let it out. She knows the rest of the process all of the way through always washing her hands. I have tried everything. We are using the cloth training pants at home so she can feel being wet. I have even broken my own rule that food should never be used as a reward or a punishment. She now knows she will get a "treat" (an M&M) when she actually uses the potty, and two treats if she has a bowel movement. I don't know what else to do. Does anyone have any good tips or resources you can recommend???



Lianne said...

Have you tried setting a timer, and taking Amanda to the bathroom every time it dings (like every 15 minutes)? A friend of mine swears that when she turned the faucet on, her kid went potty right know, the whole...hearing running water thing. You might also try a different little toys, maybe. ...if I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

Gina said...

I'm probably not much help but we had the same problem. We worked on potty training Eden for over a year and she seemed ready but just didn't quite cooperate. We did the M&M thing, we used both cloth pants and pullups. We tried using a chart. We tried using cold wet water on bottom when she had an accident. When it came down to it...I think she just needed time. Once she finally "got it" we never had a problem again. She never even wet the bed once. She went from struggling to totally trained practically overnight. My advice is to just be patient. (Not very helpful but it's all I've got.) My Grandma R. raised four kids and she says that potty training is the one thing she never did figure out. But that eventually they will be hang in there!

Aunt Janet said...

FIRST TIP: don't start too early, or you will only train yourself to take your kid at intervals. You train THEM to take themselves to the potty when they need to. (ie going at intervals doesn't help IMO, although just before leaving the house is helpful
SECOND TIP: do not use punishment and try not to show disappointment when accidents happen, or they will know it will be a battle of wills. DO use rewards, though - I invested a lot in little dolls.
THIRD TIP: Don't use diapers or pull ups - you are right to let them know when they have an accident by feeling wet or dirty.
FOURTH TIP: Devote a whole weekend or even longer, to staying at home all weekend, having Amanda wear thin trainers or even undies, put the potty in the kitchen if you have to, encourage A LOT of liquids by giving her usually forbidden drinks (ie pop,koolade) which will result in lots of learning "opportunities", and then let her clean up her own accidents calmly (no punishment, just consequences).
FIFTH TIP: there is a really old book out called "potty training in a day" which I used several ideas from. They used these techniques on severly disabled people with success, and some people have criticized some of the methods, but it's worth a skim through. Wish I would have read it BEFORE the first kid..
GOOD LUCK, I have several more ideas...